Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Disneyland, Redux

Dear Disneyland Visitor,

As you are no doubt aware, here at Disneyland we have some of finest roller coasters available in North America. However, in our continuing efforts to serve the public better, we have determined that there are people out there who don't feel comfortable riding one of our fine rides. Some people are too young, some people are too old. Some people are afraid of heights, and some people feel the roller coasters go too fast.

In order to broaden our appeal, and serve our loyal fans better, we've instituted several changes.

First, roller coasters will no longer have such extreme slopes and loops. All our coasters will be limited to slopes of less than 15 degrees. Second, no roller coaster will go higher than 25 feet. We hope this will enable all our customers to enjoy the rides without fear. Finally, roller coasters will be limited to speeds under 10 miles an hour. This will allow all customers to experience the thrill of these magnificent rides without experiencing discomfort.

Thank you for coming, and we do hope you enjoy the new, more sedate, roller coaster experience. We understand that some of our more "hardcore" (as Goofy likes to call them) enthusiasts may be concerned with the changes, but we hope that they understand that these changes will allow many more fellow amusement park visitors to experience these beloved rides.

Mickey Mouse


  1. The funny thing about this comparison is that Disney really *doesn't* have the best rollercoasters. They are tame compared to places like Magic Mountain, Six Flags, etc.

  2. Yeah, but no Disney exec would ever say that. They'll just claim they have the best anyways.

  3. Dear Disneyland Visitors,

    While some of you have expressed disappointment in our prior announcement, we think the change is a positive one. Our prior rides went so fast that less than five percent of all visitors ever actually rode them. Also, the prior announcement was somewhat exaggerated (a Disneyland forum user was somehow allowed to write it), and we think you'll find that the rides are not actually as slow as they at first seem. Furthermore, these rides only constitute the first half of our park, and faster, more exciting rides will be available in time.

  4. I guess Todd's promoting accessibility to exciting contents for all paying customers.

    I don't necessarily disagree with him, it's just that granting equal accessibility is really difficult.

    Where do you draw the line between hardcore and casual players?

    I have a friend who plays wow maybe once a week for 30 minutes at a time. He doesn't understand how anybody could play the game for 3+ hours at a time. He also doesn't understand why anybody would put up with rude strangers. So, he just goes around killing critters and running AV. Alone. He's the truest form of a casual player.

    By his standards, Todd would be considered an ultra ubber hardcore player.

    In order to accomodate my friend's interests, all contents in wow has to be soloable by arms warrior wearing quest greens within 30 minutes.

  5. I understand the comparison to Tobold's post, and it's a valid response. However, if Disney DID do that - no one would go on the rides 'cos they're no fun any more. Across on Warcraft, member numbers seem to be stable\rising. I guess, if they have made things too easy and it disgusts us visitors, then the membership numbers will drop. (Veering from Mickey Mouse to Arthas there. What a voice mix. ;>)

  6. 10 miles/hour! That's till too much. Me and my friendly social group of friends are progressing hard to be able to ride our side-supported bicycles with the speed of 8 miles/hour but we have way too much real life issues, like learning the alphabet and 1+1=2 to achieve that. Our moms pay the same $15 at the cassa, and it's unfair to lock us out of the rollercoster just because we are not losers with no life. Please make your rides more casual friendly!

  7. Wait...

    Can I email Aston Martin then, to make a cheap, super-fast, super-luxury, super-desirable (almost legendary) car with a couple of grand (in euros please) because I got a life and have no time to earn (farm?) the hundreds of grand needed?

    (Continued in my blog...)

  8. I'd leveled up three toons to 60 then four to 70. In Both WoW and BC I never got to the highest possible level dungeons. I enjoy the progression of raiding however I was not willing to put up with some of the groups of people or their guild raiding requirements. Too hard core or too many jerks IMO. It just was not enjoyable for me to play under those conditions. Also some of the time requirements ie.. grinding, fell into the same category. I have a real job this game is not going to be another one. It is a game after all, fun time not work.

    Looking back I see a lot of content of the game I missed out on. Blackwing Temple, AQ 20 and 40 and everything above Gruul's. Should I have to make the game a job IMO to get to content like this? Sacrifice nearly all my free time (I'm married with 3 boys)? It's a game not a replacement for real life.

    I like what Blizzard has done and I feel people need to remember WotLK has barely been out 60 days. Maybe it's better not having to spend so much time in the game.

  9. Model A] A product with the ability to appeal to all but includes all benefits/features to only a select minority.

    Model B] A product that appeals to all and includes all.

    Now if I were a business which would I go for?

    If the game is on EZ mode lolz for all you no-life hardcore fools, you do have a choice. Quit.

    There are other games and this one will not miss you. Yes that's right, you make up a pathetically small amount of the revenue base that Blizz just doesn't care.

    So they've opened up more content to a greater proportion of their subscribers who pay to play. And that's had what effect? 11.5 million subs. Wow, really detrimental don't you think?

    Seriously, either realise that perhaps you are elitist and not elite or beat it. Do you really think skill is what makes a successful raiding guild? Or is it perhaps the stupid amount of time available to play?

  10. *gasp* I didn't even realize your main's name was Coriel Halsing!!!!

    I've never come across anyone that has read that book. Yay! :)

  11. "If the game is on EZ mode lolz for all you no-life hardcore fools, you do have a choice. Quit."

    "Do you really think skill is what makes a successful raiding guild? Or is it perhaps the stupid amount of time available to play?"

    Ah the old "anyone that plays more than me is a no-lifer" argument. I used to play twice a week for around 2.5 hours a go. I still don't think that's particularly mental playing time, yet I found a group of people at a similar level of ability and who played for similar amounts of time and we progressed in raids. Did we clear Sunwell? No, but we got there. So you don't have to spend every minute of your life in the game to become "leet" enough to see the content that was already in place.

    "Seriously, either realise that perhaps you are elitist and not elite or beat it."

    Wanting a challenge in a game isn't "elitist". Elitist would be demanding that all content applies only to a small minority and I haven't seen anything, anywhere in the blogs where people are calling for that. What they want is a scale of difficulty.

  12. I like making the opening salvo of the raiding game accessible. It entices the masses to play the full game. However, I think Blizz would be remiss if they maintain this relatively low bar for future raid content. I say this from the standpoint of someone who never saw anything beyond T4 in TBC (and not all of that). High-end, unaccessible, can't-touch-this raid encounters are the intangible carrot on a stick that drives many of us. I knew in TBC that I'd never see Hyjal, BT or the Sunwell, but the fact that they were there was a subtle motivation whose presence, at least by me, cannot be devalued simply because relatively few players chose to attempt it.

  13. To make a new argument: Disney did not only say, that all customer's should enjoy their rides. They did also say that more enthusiastic (call them 'hard core' if you like) customers may enjoy riding upside down or with closed eyes or whatever. So there is still an extra level of thrill for those people. But they want everybody to enjoy the rides the built, maybe only in a different fashion.

    They also introduced a system where you could collect all those funny things you did on the roller coasters.

    This way they ensured that there is still a way for hard core customers to feel superior. It is just not connected to being able to see the rides themselves.

    Greeting from EU-Dethecus


  14. This has to be the best analogy I have seen in a while. Probably pisses off less people than my baseball/T-ball example.

  15. Oh i see what you did thar. Tobolds was very funny as well.

  16. naxx is an easier first step. its the first step tho. this expansion has been out what? 2 months? this isn't the end of things til the next expansion. ulduar is supposed to be harder. i believe the next raid zone (if logic follows) will be.....harder! try to do these raids/heroics and obtain the achievements. that's a fun challenge. enjoy it, and get yourself ready for the next step.

    blizzard has stated they will be making the next steps harder. repeatedly. sorry it wasn't there already, but everyone seemed in such a rush to get through all the content ASAP, the hardcore's are going to be bored for a bit. your playing a finite game, and if u try to see it all as fast as u can, u will run out of things to do. its inevitable.

    i think your analogy should state that "we will be limiting the inclines/speeds on the first 2 rides we build. these will be clearly marked as accessible. we will then be progressively adding more rides that become more thrilling and dangerous, and give u something to grow into."... wait.. theres that word: progression. i think the hardcores have forgotten that there is more to progression that just the ilevel of their gear progressing.

  17. Ideally, Disney would make a variety of rollercoasters, some very fast, some very slow, so that ALL visitors could experience the fun at their own level. Perhaps if there were slower-coasters, some of those riders would try the faster coasters too, and have more fun!

    It is, in fact, selfish to demand that Disney only caters to you, whether you are a fast-coaster fan, or a slow-coaster fan.

  18. There are still some pretty challenging parts of the game. Three Drake Sartharion and 5 Minute Malygos come to mind. If your guild has cleared through those with no problem my hat is off to you. If you haven't and are complainng here I'm not sure I understand your point.

  19. What Dontatsu said

    Which what I have been saying for the past 2 months

    Thanks Dontatse I thought I was alone on that way of thinking.

  20. There's a slight problem with this analogy. The rollercoaster theme parks offer for both types of rides.

    In WoW-Wrath, there is only one type because the more advanced ones aren't "ready" yet.

    Let's suppose you were going to build a rollercoaster theme park, and you can only choose one type of ride (easy or hardcore) initially, which one would you go for and why?

  21. I've never been to Disneyland.

    Or wanted to.

  22. good post.... the comments .... dudu da dudu... RAFLAMO. I personally agree with the hardcore group. What was wrong with TBC? release insanely hard content and then patch it down. it worked before, it can work again.

    One more thing to DL.inc yes its skill. any kill worthy of the name "progression" takes skill. A skill by the way is an action or set of actions and knowledge honed through practice.... ah that's where the time went, practice. If all you want to do is "see" the content, blizz should just make movies. cheeper to produce and larger market

  23. Blizzard added really tough challenges for the hardcore. Try completing the Heroic 5-man achievements, try the Heroic raid achievements too. Try 10-man Sarth with 3 drakes up. This is entry level content right now. Most players should have access to entry level content. Ulduar and Icecrown are promised to be considerably tougher. I'd understand this argument a lot more if people were pugging 3 drake Sarth or killing Malygos under 5 minutes in greens. The truth is, there is still a lot of hard achievements. Get your "hardcore" guild together, stop whining about the casual players enjoying the same content as you, and try and get "Of The Nightfall" or that Leet proto drake for completing the heroic challenges.

  24. This argument is tired. Some people want harder dungeons, some people want easy dungeons. It is fairly difficult to make everybody happy. Etc, etc etc.

    Hopefully more difficult content is on the way. If not, then maybe next expansion, or move on.

    Granted, they should have just scaled 25 mans to the difficulty we saw in BC and made the 10 mans as pathetically easy as they are.